Affair timeline is: OM1 - sneaking for 1 year, and that happened when marriage was 2 years old? OM2 - this year, one time only that you know of? OM3 - a couple weeks ago?
Your W clearly has boundary issues. She clearly needs help for her very unfortunate abuse. She cannot have male friends, and you apparently can't either (if they were friends you could trust them). She cannot or will not, for the life of her, tell the truth.
My advice to you is to get to the gym, start lifting weights like a maniac, become a man's man, and work on your wolf stare. Take some boxing classes, MMA, anything. What do you do for fun? This woman doesn't respect you, these guys don't either. I've been a rough and tumble guy at times in my life, and I confronted the OM in my sitch, he stood behind his mother and told me about how I'm lucky his dad wasn't there. I laughed and smelled a little female dog right then and there. Well at least he knows if he sees me he better go the other way. Have you ever been in a fight, do you play sports, have brothers?
If your W wants to walk away from this, I say let her. She has so many issues and it's going to require a huge commitment from her to sort through them. She treats you like hell.
I'm a Catholic too, but I wouldn't call your W a "strong Catholic". She seems to not care about any of it. Harder for you to see, standing at ground zero over there.
You soften on her a lot. That isn't good. You have a pattern of caving. Do a 180 there. Or live with someone running roughshod over you forever. Read No More Mr Nice Guy.
Definitely quit pursuing. Unleash your rational mind. Why chase a woman who doesn't want you? This goes back to my advice on becoming a man's man. You don't respect yourself, she doesn't respect you, these "friends" don't respect you. Everyone is crapping on you. STOP EVERYTHING! Go and be a man! Find yourself right now and quit being miserable! My blood is boiling over here. She doesn't feel too sorry for you, right? So quit feeling sorry for her! This last paragraph is how you open all of the eyes.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
