Curious, and forgive me if I'm out of line, but have you thought about talking to your doctor about antidepressants? The reason I ask is because some of them also work really well for anxiety. But I'm not sure if you can take them while you're breastfeeding. There is a specific antidepressant that is known to work quite well for anxiety and isn't sedating/addictive but I don't know that I'm allowed to say anything about that here. That being said, psychotherapy has been shown to be as effective as medication to treat certain conditions like anxiety. And, if you can believe it, they did a head-to-head comparison of certain antidepressants compared to physical exercise, and it ended in a tie.
Just seems to me that some of the energy you're pointing at your H could be pointed at addressing this aspect of how your mind holds you back. My two cents.
You are absolutely right about this. The IC I went to see did suggest me look into medicine to help with the anxiety I am having. I have a call into my doctor. While I was pregnant after BD, they put me on something very mild that was allowed during pregnancy, and it was just to help me function through the days because I was not eating and it was very unhealthy for the baby. But when my husband came home 3 weeks later I felt so much better, so I dont know if the medicine helped or if it was just the circumstance.I didnt feel that awful again until we decided to separate in April when the baby was 6 weeks, because I knew he was still talking to first OW. We have been so on and off since April that its been hard to figure out my feelings honestly. This time has been the longest that he has been out of the house, and with us having a schedule now, and him now having this new OW, it is just the most REAL this has been, which is why I think I am having such a horrific emotional reaction to all of it.
