Just had first contact. He texted "in case you were wondering, it's a dump but I'm fine.....just checking in to let you know that I'm there.' I think I'll leave it alone for now. It's hard though! The emotional mind says if I don't respond, he will think I don't care and then start moving on. But my logical mind knows it's the best thing to do. Ugh.
I did not respond to the text. I did however send him an e-mail informing him I plan to visit the kids this weekend or next and said I believe it's in the best interest we do it together. I will do it with or without him. Also had to send a message about a bill, but kept both very short Not personal at all. This detachment business is tricky when we still have a family and household to take care of!!
Woke up about 3 a.m. with obsessive thoughts about H, his history of deceit, and doubts this separation will amount to anything more than prolonging the inevitable. Probably because I discussed more of my situation than I have ever had, and maybe should have, with a friend over dinner last night. I'm worried about my kids, too. Went to the gym at 4:30 a.m. to clear my head. Glad I have work to go to. It will keep me busy to keep the thoughts at bay. Got plans for tonight, so that's a help too.
There's so many questions I have for H, but I will continue to remain detached, and only initiate contact when absolutely necessary. On to Day #3.
Woke up about 3 a.m. with obsessive thoughts about H, his history of deceit, and doubts this separation will amount to anything more than prolonging the inevitable. Probably because I discussed more of my situation than I have ever had, and maybe should have, with a friend over dinner last night. I'm worried about my kids, too. Went to the gym at 4:30 a.m. to clear my head. Glad I have work to go to. It will keep me busy to keep the thoughts at bay. Got plans for tonight, so that's a help too.
There's so many questions I have for H, but I will continue to remain detached, and only initiate contact when absolutely necessary. On to Day #3.
hi grace. sorry youre in this situation. but try to remember you are not alone. and just my $0.02 have you considered seeing an IC? i can swear by it, and it does really help. me and WW have common friends so out of the little respect i still have for her, i don’t just go on telling about her A, the effects of it to my life and to D14’s life.
Woke up about 3 a.m. with obsessive thoughts about H, his history of deceit, and doubts this separation will amount to anything more than prolonging the inevitable. Probably because I discussed more of my situation than I have ever had, and maybe should have, with a friend over dinner last night. I'm worried about my kids, too. Went to the gym at 4:30 a.m. to clear my head. Glad I have work to go to. It will keep me busy to keep the thoughts at bay. Got plans for tonight, so that's a help too.
There's so many questions I have for H, but I will continue to remain detached, and only initiate contact when absolutely necessary. On to Day #3.
hi grace. sorry youre in this situation. but try to remember you are not alone. and just my $0.02 have you considered seeing an IC? i can swear by it, and it does really help. me and WW have common friends so out of the little respect i still have for her, i don’t just go on telling about her A, the effects of it to my life and to D14’s life.
you are strong. be stronger.
Solid.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Thanks for the support. I AM strong! I haven't told but a few very trusted friends about H's past. Partly simply because of privacy reasons, partly because I don't want to hear "how could you stay with someone like that", and partly because if by some miracle we do R, I don't want people jaded about him or us.
H and I were in MC for about 6 months, and I've seen her in IC a few times. Last time she thought I was doing great, and said I could just call her if I needed to regroup. For the most part I AM doing pretty good, since this has been a long process already, but won't hesitate to call her when the need arises. And it probably will at some point.
a lot of people say don't tell anyone about your sitch. I agree, with a caveat. You have to tell someone. My sister and mom know quite a bit, and that's maybe not a good thing if my W ever comes home for good. The rest of my friends are there for my GAL. In the beginning I wanted to whine and complain, and now I just want to enjoy myself.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
