Had a good night w H lastnight when he dropped kids off. Talked a bit / cordial / friendly.
Tonight he calls to let me know he got a promotion to motorcycle unit at work and he is going out of state for the week oct 15-19. He has the kids 18 and 19 which I already committed to work and take my boards for my RN (which is a huge deal). It’s like my life doesn’t matter and it’s all about his selfish little world. I need to do everything for the kids and he can just live this “bachelor” lifestyle. I mentioned he’s going to miss the kids dr appt that week and his response was “it [censored] im missing a wedding that Friday too”. Really ?? A friends wedding we were supposed to goto together !! He then brings up an annual cookout we goto together every year he wants to bring the kids to a day he has them. Doesn’t he realize it hurts to hear this ? He then has the nerve to say he’s going to try to take the weekend before and after training off like I’m just going to hand the kids over to him when he’s free. Sorry we have plans !
Being the nice guy has gotten me nowhere. I DB and he starts to come around and show positive changes/ gets my hopes up but then he shows selfishness the next day. It’s exhausting. I want to give up but I’ll do anything to make my M work I want my husband back and think of him every moment of the day. Feeling sick over this. I feel like he’s in “Cop” mode and trained to show NO emotion. I ask him stuff and his response is always “I don’t know.” It’s so frustrating. I think he’s scared to come back and for things to go back to the way they were in the past.
How is he just off getting promotions and socializing like my life isn’t falling apart and he’s ruining our family right now??
