kech, I'm going to use some angry verbage here. And it's all aimed at your H. Please do not be offended, but what I am going to say falls in line with others here regarding how they feel about H and his OW:
Originally Posted by kech
I went rogue today and I’m not proud. WHen H said via text he would stop seeing Ow and doesn’t want to hear about it anymore, I didn’t respond. He then texted more about me not responding and I said “it’s not worth a response. keep your lies to yourself”.
You sound angry. And you have every right to be. You have no reason to trust the lying, cheating, gaslighting a$$hole. Good for you for showing your strength to him.
Originally Posted by kech
“If you'd had put half the effort over the years you are now maybe we wouldnt be in this.”
Temp checking.
Emotional response: "Go f*ck yourself. I put in effort in all of the time we were together. Your head was too far up your a$$ to notice."
Logical response (validation): "I'm sorry you feel that way."
Originally Posted by kech
I told him I’m so disgusted by what he’s doing I wish I could have nothing to do with him. He said if I feel that way then we should end this. And then he said he wished he felt the same about me.... saying he wishes he felt like he wants nothing to do with me. Whatever
I sympathize with you on your response. Taking the high road is hard and it's ok to be angry and tell him what you feel. Following the garbage he spewed, validate.
Originally Posted by kech
Long story short, we said nothing when he came over to see D and I left the house immediately.
Good work. He needs to know you are GAL and it does not revolve around him.
Originally Posted by kech
I know this wasn’t good bc I shouldn’t have responded to any, I shouldn’t have texted him. I just needed to feel like I have my dignity. I needed him to know I didn’t believe his lies and I knew he was seeing her, and now he’s admitted it. And now he’s angry again but this time I don’t care. I’m done being so nice. He has flipped my world upside down. If this causes him to file then so be it.
You are hurt. And are in tremendous pain and having to deal with it on a regular basis. You have every right to yell in agony. You have every right to cry because it hurts so much. For him to do what he is doing is $hitty. That being said, continue to use the pain to grow and strengthen yourself. I know it does not feel like it, but each day it gets a little better. You will have better days than others. You will dip and have down days. But then you will bounce back and continue to get stronger. You do not need to ask us whether you are doing the right things with this process. You KNOW you are doing the right things. You see and feel it. We see it and feel it. Your family, friends, support group sees and feels it. And your H sees and feels it.
Originally Posted by kech
He just texted me “so how do we make this so you don’t have to have anything to do with me?”
He’s exhausting me. I have no clue how to answer that. He knows I have no clue how to answer that
I would not answer that at all. He is temp checking you and really working hard to elicit a negative response.
You are doing great.
Build on that. Continue to do things that make you happy. When was the last time you were made to feel special? When was the last time you pampered/treated yourself? Go out and get a mani/pedi/hair done. Go get that cute dress you wanted and wear it.
Show the world that you are a strong, smart, beautiful kech.
Be the kech that your fool H is leaving. Make him know that he is becoming more foolish everyday because his a$$hole actions.
