@Ready2Change Thank you for the links, some I had seen others I have not. I always appreciate reading what Sandi has to say. Sandi if you are lurking and want to comment on my sitch, please feel free.
@ovrrnbw.
Well If I google "signs wife is having affair" and compare them to my wife, I get the following:
emotionally distant change in appearance lack of interest in sex spending time with new friends spending more time at work spending more time on cell phone/computer Changing or placing passwords on devices
However all of this can be explained away for other reasons such as we are new to our city/state (new friends), she just got a new job where the work is ramping up (more time at work), she was diagnosed with depression and taking medication etc (emotionally distant/lack of interest in sex).
There was a point last fall where she thought I was reading her emails ( I was not), but it was then that she started password protecting her devices. While I did not snoop on her emails, I did have a good idea of what she was looking at online at it was mostly related to fitness and diet (nothing new), she also spend a lot of time on social media talking to friends and collecting quotes about life and changes as well as shopping on Amazon. Her change in appearance was not to a sexier/sluttier version just a change in style which included coloring her hair wild colors. Does this mean that there was/ is an A? Maybe, but it could also be a MLC coupled with depression or worst case a combo of all three.
I want to believe that I am dealing with a MLC based on what I have read here and in the books, she just seems to be questioning everything. Her life's choices, who she is, what she wants etc. After spending a lifetime as a pleaser and probably a co-dependent person, I feel that she is struggling with her identity. She had a real hard time with her 35th birthday and getting older.
Like I mentioned in my previous post, I chose not to care what the root cause was as I did not think it mattered to me and my job to GAL. If I understand the wise Sandi correctly, I just have to let things run its course and wait and see what shows up on the other side.
