Unsure what's next, what to do.....

[Wanted1]

I'm trying like hell to quit the pursuit. I've lasted 48 hours which is longer than I have the past 10 days. I had been trying so hard but then I tell myself 'I need to tell her one more thing.' Even she told me she felt suffocated by all of what I was saying to her.

Part of me feels sorry for her as a victim of her circumstances and also sorry that I wasn't there for her in the right way. It pains me to no end that she had this all bottled up inside her and that she didn't trust/feel comfortable with coming to me with how she was feeling once she read through all the crap she went through. Reading through that she said felt like she was reading about somebody else until it hit her that THAT stuff happened to her and her siblings.

I empathize, somewhat, with the fact that she didn't trust coming to me with anything. I have never been a real emotional guy and looking back I now realize we never did communicate in a healthy matter. I sort of brushed things aside and figured they would eventually work themselves out. Clearly that doesn't work. I absolutely understand that now.

I really want to try Retrouvaille. It sounds like the main objective is to teaches couples how to communicate the right way and effectively. I feel as though if we could figure that out, a lot of our issues could be resolved, with of course, her continued work on her own problem and issues that she needs to deal with through an IC which is definitely going to take time.

I'm just so clueless as to why she isn't more open (at this point in time at least) to trying to work through this, which is something we've never done in the past. It would be different if she was going to an IC regularly, or I was seeing someone or if we both had been to MC in the past. We haven't, unfortunately. Before, I was oblivious to the fact that I helped contribute to the strife.

My thought is, we can always call it quits if none of that works and we will both know we tried everything to salvage the M. I just have no clue how to move forward in an effective manner to which she will open her eyes and her heart to at least trying to work through all of our issues.