Hoosjim's 16th. Looks like we're piecing, folks.

[hoosjim]

So, quick minor update. After literally weeks upon weeks with no hints of the doctor at her work asking my W to stay after with the "After hours" group in either large or small numbers, nor of my W indeed having any interest in any such activity, it "popped up" again today.

Let me say that i am reasonably sure that such after-work get togethers with the wine have been going on even without my W's participation because, well... because they are always going on. At least weekly and sometimes bi-weekly for at least the last three or so years. (Then again, if targeting my W was one of the primary purposes of these get-togethers, i suppose they might have tailed off with her making it clear by wearing her rings again, openly flirting with me at work, etc etc., that she was "no longer available-- but no way for me to know this for sure.) The groups range from just the three (Doctor, doctor's secretary, my W) to much larger groups, and have, on occasion, NOT involved my wife so i imagine they are still continuing, especially since Dr. is a wine connoisseur and can't drink at home because his own W is an alcoholic. I also know that at least a couple of the OR nurses have a "Thing" for this doctor (I honestly don't see the attraction, but whatever) and come by for these as well, so the "demand" likely persists.

At any rate, W calls me today as she is leaving work (As she always does these days, and she always leaves exactly at the end of her work day, and has for prolly at least the past three or four months.) We talked a little about our own family physician, who died (fairly young) under tragic circumstances this morning, and then she related that she felt bad because she "ruined Dr.___________ 's day" (meaning the doctor in her office who hosts the "wine downs") because he had not known of the death, and he had come by her desk as she was getting ready to leave and said "come have a drink with me." (My W's words.) At which point she said "I can't, I can't, I'm going to run some errands and Oh BTW it's really sad about Dr. _______________ isn't it?" And then supposedly this same doctor looked really shocked and said "Well, now you have to come have a drink with me..." but my wife demurred.

I'm not asking if I should have a problem with this. I DO have a problem with this. Particularly if, as it sounds, he was inviting her to a one on one (My W didn't say that he said "a drink with US..." which i am assuming she would have said if that was the case, knowing how i feel about one-on ones with said Doctor (which was and is one of my non-negotiables when we started the reconcilliation process.)

We were sort of into talking about the doctor who had died, and she was obviously sad and a little teary, so i didn't want to (and so i didn't) jump on her about the doctor's invitation. But i haven't forgotten.

I also worry about this a little despite my W's open commitment to me because she has resumed working out over the past month or so, and is looking GREAT. (I mean, she already looked amazing--she's 50 and can pass for early 30s-- but my W at peak fitness is like WOWZER.)

Certainly something i want to bring up in our next MC, I think. Perhaps before.

Others' thoughts?