I think, maybe the IC is seeing this as family therapy. IMHO, it will not work well when trying to get D14 and WW physically together before they can even talk to each other. It's like trying to have MC while the WW is having an affair. In other words, the mother is not "all in" and willing to do whatever is necessary to have a good relationship with her daughter. I am concerned what the IC is hoping to accomplish will fail, b/c nobody can depend up on a wayward to do the responsible thing. I think D14 needs IC just for her issues in this equation, but don't try to get her mother physically involved at the moment, or pressure D14 to do something she doesn't want to do.. (Some counselors act as if they know nothing about the mindset of a wayward). D14 is entitled to feel the way she does. Frankly, I think it is quite normal, considering everything. For anyone to suggest that she should feel otherwise, or made to think that the responsibility for the relationship with her mother lies on her young shoulders...….will simply cause her more resentment at this time
hi sandy. thanks for chiming i’m on my sitch. as always your wisdom and well worded advices are very much appreciated.
you are correct in stating that D14’s IC use seeing this as a family therapy. I’ve been wanting to suggest to the IC that the dynamic between WW and D14 isn’t going to work as long as WW is having an A. And i think D14 has also mentioned that to the IC. WW doesn’t follow through with the advices that IC has given her. WW is i to this notion that “if D14 doesn’t want to engage with me then i wont enrage her either”. That’s why it’s failing. WW wants D14 to accept that her A is justifiable because our MR is already dead. And once D14 disagrees with her or doesn’t accept WW’s reasons that’s when the “authoritarian figure” shows up. followed by yelling and screaming.
I would be suggesting to D14’s IC, that until WW is rational then she can just concentrate on D14’s issues about the whole equation.
IC is really family oriented. not that there’s something wrong with it. but i think they’re forcing the issue that if D14’s relationship with WW is non-existent, then it ruins her, D14, in the future.
