I am in a world of hurt. I have been married for 38 years to a wonderful man. We have two grown children. Here is the thing--I am pretty conflict avoidant, and he can get angry, which causes me to withdraw completely. This has been going on for the last two years. I mistakenly thought that if I withdrew, he wouldn't have the opportunity to be angry, which feels like it is about everything. His main complaint is that I hide behind the computer, working at home, which of course just makes him even more angry. So, this is definitely my doing.
This summer, I discovered that he has a "friend" who he made out with, while on a trip out of state. She is married, and they text and talk on the phone every day. She has sent packages of goodies to us for our grandsons. I am hurt beyond belief, and don't know if our marriage will recover. My husband says that the make-out session was a mistake, that they did not have sex, and that I have nothing to worry about with her--that the problem is between he and I. He states that he no longer loves me romantically as a result of being emotionally abandoned by me, but is willing to wait to see if the feeling returns (if it ever does). I know that I am responsible for the bulk of this, and I am beside myself that I have hurt the person that I love the most. I am really feeling worthless.
Can anyone help? I am not sure that there is much reason to go on, since I have pretty much ruined my life.
