Helena, your H has held you imprisoned for your mistakes for too long. I am far from forgiveness myself, but this is something I need to do to heal and move forward with my journey. Your H never healed himself, instead by withholding affection and reminding you of the past he is stuck in a place of despair and has been dragging you down along with him. Detachment is easier when there is physical separation but I wouldnt wish it on anybody's children. So it is your path to take now, heal yourself, forgive yourself, forgive your H for holding you as his perpetrator even after so many years. You are already doing what makes you happy, continue concentrating on you. I understand you feel this is no way to lead a life but is there a hurry to make a decision one way or the other? None of us can feel your pain, your sitch is different from most others, but look at it from the LBSs in piecing's perspective, agreed you have had to endure for really long but both of you are in pain still. I hope you find some peace (((Helena)))
