Feeling lost, scared and wanting to fix this.

[Turbine]

Exercise and returning to Church have been helping. That includes prayer on a much greater frequency than before BD. Wife doesn't know. Why should she since prayer should be private and personal with God. Besides my returning to Church and God, while inspired in great part by her, are for me.

I haven't acted on most counterproductive thoughts. I recognize them for that. Doing harm to her stuff for example. If I take her pictures down, I handle them like I would my own. I even got new license plate screws for her car because the ones there are rusted. It bothers me, so I want to fix that.

Maybe some OCD issues here. I like things to be right, taken care of etc. That runs in the family to various degrees. Might be upbringing too. Not important... ? IDK since it might be annoying to her. Hmmm... need to tighten up the loose ends on this.