I agree with Steve. K, we are all saying the same thing here and we have all seen this play out.

My answer for you is: Yes, I felt that way too! I spun and spun for many months. Yes, I thought he was more happy with OW. Yes, it was so so hard not to respond. I could have written all your posts 4-5 years ago. I just didn't.

In the first several months, I did reply to these nonsense comments. I replied a lot. If my H had said or texed "Im tired of things being awkward," well then I would come back with, "It is awkward because you had an A and left your W and family!"

I replied and took the bait for a long time. And guess where it got me? Not very far. There was a moment he left OW for 2-3 weeks and we had several R talks. He would even call me in tears. There were many times he promised to cut her off, end it, and assured me he felt wrong about what he was doing. There were many long emotional talks. There were many apologies. I made so many mistakes; stonewalling, ignoring, guilting, or even begging and crying. Even though I always got his attention, or his guilt, I did not make him want to come back to me! I mostly made him feel worse about himself.

You know what did work? When I finally dropped the rope and took the high road! He saw me moving on and he saw a beautiful and strong woman that knew she was too good for this BS! He saw a more confident woman and mother. He started to see what he saw when he met me. You have to be stronger than him! And in the mean time, things with OW and his feelings for her just deteriorated. The fantasy will crumble but it can take time. They are human and their flaws will eventually show. She became increasingly needy and insecure. He didn't even trust her or feel or have a intimate connection, she was just an escape from life! But that doesn't matter, because I (nor do you) have any control over them! That just takes time to play out. So you need to start using YOUR TIME to get stronger!

Drop the rope. You can do this, I know it! You are a tough mama!

Blu

“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela