Nicole, I agree, I wish I was in a state which mandated a period of separation, it lets Waywards live their fantasy and fall flat on their face and at the same time lets LBS heal without having to also handle the D formalities in a fragile emotional state. I am not saying it will lead to R, but it is for each to heal and be in a mental frame to make better decisions.
Davide you are right about the kids exposed to OW, I fumbled on that front and it does seem I am stuck in denial.
I have discussed not having the kids interact with our (his) dates with WH but he denies OW. Even at the mediator I phrased it as GF/BF for either of us to which he scoffed and said I was paranoid and she basically said I was trying to control him after the separation. Instead of STFU at that point, I went on to say ' the M is over, he is free to be with whoever he wants, all I am asking for is to not expose the children to OP for their own well being'. How much do you all think I f*d up here?
Another point I forgot to add to my update earlier, when WH came to the appointment on seeing him my heart leapt to my mouth. All this felt so so so unnecessary. I wanted to shake him up from his slumber, and to my dismay I realized I still somewhere deep inside love this man, that makes me so weak and pathetic after all that he has done but you feel what you feel. I am still proud that in spite of this I was able to walk in and handle the business part of the D, and the more he talked I saw that this is not my H but the new WH and it was easier to discuss D terms. I am probably coming off to him as cold, blood thirsty, calculating and making him pay for his mistakes and trying to $crew him over but I am really not doing any of it. I want what I think is fair for the children and I want him to just be as far away from me as possible.
