Moving past the WAW to a stronger me Pt. 4

[ovrrnbw]

Hi Davide,

I get your reaction to seeing her. I have been through all of those emotions too, seeing pictures and reading search histories of my WW that crushed me. But, they didn't crush me. I got stronger, and now, stuff like that is more like water off the duck's back. You are a better DB'er than me, and our situations started around the same time. Going to the gym and being able to be in the moment there was a sign of how far you have come. So I think you're doing great.

I don't know what your opinions are on dating while married. I think the whole "married, but separated" thing is a total crock of [censored]. You're married, you made a commitment for life - to forsake all others. But but but, aahhhhh, yessss, there's an asterisk. IF we are separated then the vows don't matter. Oh, great, now I feel better....*puke*.

My point is, for me, I see this behavior as disgusting and immoral. I have done enough stupid crap that caused my marriage to fail, I don't need to do any more. And if I did the dating or sleeping around thing, I'm just validating that behavior as OK under the right circumstances. You may have a different opinion on separation and marriage and divorce. I wish I could just file for divorce and drop the bomb on her, and maybe you do too. But that's a game, and I don't know if it would get us anywhere.

I think you need to be divorced before dating someone else. Just my opinion. And right now, it would likely be more of a distraction than a real thing. A lot of people "get over" and ex by just getting a new person, but I don't know how healthy that is.