Hi Sia, I feel so sorry for what you had to endure in the last mediation meeting. If your husband wants to move to the other coast could you politely suggest he's free to move solo? He can fly back to your city one or two weekends per month to visit your daughters and then you could have them full-time. This is basically how it works with my husband. The reason why this would work better is because when your husband's relationship with OW on the other coast ends he'll probably move back to where you are now, so it definitely doesn't make sense for you and your kids to be uprooted and move just for him to be closer to a woman with whom there's no guarantee he'll be with in the long-term. How selfish of him! Plus how could he even think that he has any right to pressure you to make a long-distance move when he's the one who is breaking up your family?
FYI - when my husband wanted to divorce last winter he was basically hoping he'd have to pay almost nothing for child support and he wanted to walk away from his marriage and daughter free of responsibility. That was a temporary phase though and once he broke up with his girlfriend or the fun started to wear off he started to think more clearly again and voluntarily forked over all the money I requested. This is why having your husband rush to divorce doesn't make sense. He's not thinking clearly. Not that you want him back at this point but divorce is a major lifechanging decision and isn't something that should be done in a fit of rage when someone is at the very start of an affair. I guess that's how it happens for many people but I really like the states / provinces that have a mandatory one year of separation. This forces everyone to think through their decisions and not just act upon a storm of emotions.
