Moving past the WAW to a stronger me Pt. 4

[Davide]

A quick update:

My parents flew into town for the weekend. I am sure they were a bit concerned about me since they know about the sitch and I wasn't in a great place when I visited them this summer. However, I am in much better shape now. I thoroughly cleaned up the house, washed the car, and otherwise got everything ready to show them that I am not falling apart.

It was good to have people in the house. I've been alone with the dog basically the entire last two months, a couple of friends have only popped by once, otherwise it has been completely solitary. The dog was thrilled to have more company! We went out to eat together, antique hunted (not my idea) in a small town nearby, we spent way too much time getting me a new cell phone. They also helped with my redecoration of the house - getting frames and hanging up a lot of the photography from my summer trip. It was a nice break from the norm, even if by the end I was itching to be more physically active, and I left them for a few hours to go to the gym. I'll see them again in a month at a cousin's wedding.

On Sunday as I rode to the gym I happened to run into/ see the W. She must have just gotten back into town, and she was out on a bike with the OM, watching a little mini-concert in the street. That stung a bit as it was the first time that I have run into them together. I literally just glanced them out of the side of my eye as I was passing down the street, but it definitely stirred up some emotions - resentment, rejection. She is getting on with her life, which I already knew. I guess having the visual is something I didn't really want. That said, I got to the gym and started climbing with some folks there and it completely left my mind until I was done and heading home again. Looking back I am happily surprised that I was able to enjoy my workout as much as I did. I think that this being my first exposure it will be the hardest one, and that I will get more used to it as it goes along.

Also, I am still waffling on the dating. I had signed up for some OLD sites and been perusing them for a while, but I never paid any money so there was no follow-up or conversation or anything. With my new phone I put on a different site in which women contact men, and I got involved in my first conversation yesterday (prior to the run-in with the W.) It was unexpected and most likely won't lead anywhere, but it still felt like a step. I am happy to be talking to someone new and there are no expectations so that is good. It also feels like another step towards building my own life and dropping the rope further. At the same time I don't want to lie or hurt anyone so I am hesitant and cautious. I want to say that I am ambivalent but I did engage in conversation when contacted, so I did move towards it myself.

I'd love to hear any thoughts on my reaction to seeing W and OM and/or the dating question. It was really hard not to bring either of those things up with my parents, but they don't know about OM and I was comfortable asking them about the dating either.