thank you steve! as always i appreciate your comments, wisdom and support! from what AS as told me of his sitch, he and i share the "what the H happened" WW experience i think. in some ways i think that helps us move to the other side easier, because our W is just completely gone and done. there's no discussions at dinner, MC, seeing each other day to day. never got a single chance and haven't seen her in months now. even to exchange D, W has us go through family. when you are dealing with that level of what feels like complete abandonment, D looks more like the promised land and less like a wasteland ONCE you finally reach a point where you know you don't deserve what you are allowing yourself to wallow in. in those sitches where there's communication, back and forth, uncertainty...detachment and moving to the other side i think is MUCH harder as there's still a sense of hope for R. i didn't ask for ANY of this, but it happened and now i need to make the best of it. as you say i can take solace in the fact that i wanted and would have done anything i could to try and save my MR, but W never offered not one chance.
thank you for the support as well neffer! as the song says "don't know where i'm going, but i sure know where i've been". looking forward instead of backward provides a person the chance to see new opportunities that they previously thought were closed off to them. it's towards those things that i'm headed.
