Davide...good to hear from you! yep, overall I'm in a good spot these days. i really have appreciated your support along with all of the other members on here who've replied back to my posts throughout the various stages that i've gone through. thankfully i'm getting to see my D equally with my W and when i have her, she and i are constantly busy, having fun and doing things together. it's also been helpful that for the D process we have general agreement.
indifference for sure. i don't think i ever really had much hostility or resentment that i directed at my wife. i did, however, have alot of frustration/amazement/foresaken feelings spiritually. like "why are you destroying my family, putting my d through this, etc". with my W is was more like "well it's her choice, nothing i can do". towards her within me i still have this huge "why?" which will likely never get answered BUT even if I find out someday it would be like watching the ball game after you know the final score, nice but not really necessary. as i've said her actions just pushed me to a point of "dude what the H are you doing? sure you made mistakes but you don't deserve this" and i just said the H with it. i just hit a point where i realized my value as a good man and decided to stop letting her take my life from me. never felt the resentment/bitterness, i didn't like her choice, but i don't have to live with it AND just maybe the ending of this chapter was required for a better chapter to begin. i do have the "benefit" of being previously married to have seen that happen within my own life. i feel like my quit was immediate though, no stages. once she insulted me (my opinion) by going back to her maiden name well before our D was concluded, i just dropped her.
this site and the folks who post here have changed my life. i have learned and been exposed to MANY MANY ways that i can be a better man, father and perhaps some day again spouse so i plan to stay around. as i've said before sometimes the stories i read here are so much more crushing than my own that i feel how feeble my attempt at trying to help someone else might succeed. i'll keep posting along as my sitch goes and will definitely check your's out as well.
stay the course Davide, praying and pulling for ya!
