I feel like it's you're damned if you do and damned if you don't at times. I'm working much harder on keeping a happy face and doing my 180 while detaching. We just had a mini party for us and our son for his birthday this weekend where H was chatty and happy one minute and then quiet and thoughtful the next during the time he was here. I ignored it instead of doing my usual asking if he's alright.

I've been super focused on my new therapist and looking for work but from time to time I get caught up in thinking of happier memories of me and H.

The fall season is our favorite season together but I'm pushing past that to focus on me and my son instead of moping around like I want to do some days.

Together for 13 years, married for 8.
H is 46
I'm 40
S is 6
Bombdrop in April 2018
Still in limbo as of 2019