26 and trying to save a marriage

[equalzr]

If they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you.

You are the proverbial Other Man. You'll find no sympathy from me. You helped engineer the breakup of one family, and the mourn when it happens to you. I don't see where you helped your W recover and improve.

Verbal abuse in a relationship, like anything else, is not good. If you aren't going to help. you should promptly piss off. It sounds like you became what you were so against. You have a slough of issues of your own, and that, along with everything else, is the irony in your situation.

The OM is not solely to blame, I know. But the OM is always an enabler. That is why I am indifferent to you. You'll be able to read here and potentially improve your sitch. Takes guts to post here when you are the OM. So many here are dealing with the pain of the OM or OW.

This sums up my feelings as well. Hard to ask for sympathy in this situation.