Have you read any of kech's threads? I brought this up before. She is asking the SAME questions and has lots of great answers and posters. Go read her threads! I think it would be awesome if you both could reply to one another also. When you read and give advice to someone in a similar sitch, it forces you to look at your own sitch and actions. Teaching can benefit a teacher more than a learner, and DBing is no different.
In a nutshell, no, I do not see any signs of him wanting to R. As sia said, these are just bread crumbs. He is most likely securing you as a back up plan if his other plans don't work out. Or he may be acting kind to absolve some guilt. You cannot read into their actions or mindread. It doesn't work. When they want to come back, you will sense it and know in your gut. There will be a shift in behavior, remorse, vulnerability, honesty, and a commitment to change. They will start putting your needs first. It also will be consistent actions over time. Random acts of kindness or coldness are essentially meaningless in terms of their intentions, because they are not focused on you anymore, they are thinking of themselves. And the more they know you are sitting and waiting, the less likely they are to want to come back. Its twisted.
This can take a long time so patience is key. I know how hard it is. I'm sorry, it's the worst pain. But you are grasping at straws. If you read other sitches, you will see patterns of what this looks like. Waywards demonstrated similar behaviors. It can take several months or even years for them to turn around. Many never do. Often you have to let them go and they need to go off on their own journey. In the mean time, you can focus on healing and make yourself the better option.
Blu
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“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
