I've probably done everything wrong today... did the kids exchange which is now in a public place. W looked very tried, older and made no effort to look nice. W said that she'd given youngest kid a phone. I said that she had told youngest that we would both discuss it beforehand. W denied that conversation and then she twisted it. I said that it was typical of her to be dishonest, rewrite and twist everything.
One of the kids was upset being passed between us. I suggested going to a cafe to do it and W agreed. I said to W it was starting to have a bad impact upon the kids and this was her choice. W asked me about a couple of GAL things the kids said to her I'd been doing and she was surprised as they were things I wouldn't normally have done. We then had some laughs. I then suggested that we went to a restaurant and W agreed. W drove us there. We passed a lady, W made a comment about her and I said I see her around a lot in the nearest city (W may now realise I'm getting out a lot and not know why). We had some more laughs. W & I talked on our own at one stage. I said that I had a good idea as to what went wrong but I can only see my point of view and it might not be the same as hers. I said I realise that she is probably too afraid to discus her point of view and so I'd had to join the dots and may have the wrong picture due to bad communication. She said she understood.
I then noticed W kept looking at me in a warmer way. W passed a drink to me to taste etc. Her body language was the most open since she had left, whereas I was now the one with the crossed arms etc.
W denies taking money despite me saying that I have the evidence. I had mentioned it in a humorous way when it was time to pay the bill. That smirking, untrustworthy side to her is still obvious at times. It's like a game to her at times. I can see it clearly now and it puts me off her. I said that she used to be lovely and that I now felt sorry for her as I thought she was better than what she has been doing. I said that I tried to understand what she is going through and I had looked on the internet to search for rewriting martial history and a lot of it made sense and that what she is going through is a known predicatable thing. W seemed genuinely interested and said she would look into that. I said I just had to get some things off my chest and 'the next time we meet, if we ever do again, I won't talk about any R issues'. W said she understood. W said she didn't want to talk about the past as there was nothing to say. I said she probably has the future planned. W claimed that she doesn't really know what she's doing and anything could happen in the future. W later mentioned some local houses for sale and how much they cost so she must be looking at houses for sale. In the restaurant was a new friend of mine that W wasn't aware of and we said hello. I said to W that I'd been getting advice from him. W said that was nice. I said you wouldn't say that if you knew what advice he'd given me.
I probably made lots of mistakes but I guess there was some progress in that we went for a meal together on our own as a family for the first time in months, had some laughs, I was fearless at losing W, I called out some disrespectful BS, but I also showed some understanding about the way she is. There's no chance of R whilst she is still in that cunning, truth bending, alien state of mind that is a long way below the person I thought she used to be.
