Seahog, I may be out of line here, but integrity compels me to speak up. I, for one, find your handle offensive. If you really think that way about your wife, you're not going to get very far no matter what you try, and nobody here will really be able to offer you much help, if any. To think that way about another person is to dehumanize them, which is about the most unhelpful thing when trying to improve a relationship. If you're not trying to improve your relationship, you're in the wrong place.
There... I've said my piece, and I won't say anything more on the subject. Do what you will, or nothing...