hi steve. D14 explains the laughter is more of a sarcastic one. “she hasn’t talked to me for a long time, never asked how i am, haven’t acted like a mother for months, suddenly she says ILY?! wanted to say something, but i didn’t want to ruin my day.”
update... D14 off to a party, asked WW if she could pick her up. WW, reply was, she can’t, she’s not D14’s slave. D14 very pissed! now i have to get off work and pick her up.
Be strong, be your daughter's dad. Don't worry about how your W is messing up. It won't do a damn thing for you. So be positive bc you can be, and make a good life for your kids.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
thanks ovrr. i am, we both are, everyday just trying to be better and stronger. it’s just mind boggling that WW attends D14’s IC and yet she doesn’t listen/follow through with the IC’a advise / recommendations. What WW wants is for D14 to do the needed work to fix their R, and i know it’s not just up to D14 to do all the work, WW has to do something else.I would like to say something to WW during D14’s IC, but am conflicted if i need to say it. it goes something to this effect;
LBH; hey WW, we need to address the elephant in the room, and that is you’re having an A. and your D14 hates whatever you’re doing. You just cannot force D14 to fix your R with her, because you’re in a situation she despises. You just cannot assert your authority as a parent by yelling or raising your voice at her. The minute you hit her, you became equals, yes you are her mother and according to her she came out of you and that is how far she thinks your R is with her. Truthfully, as long as in you’re in this A, she won’t and will not put any effort to fix on whatever R you force her into. According to you, you found a place of your own, and yet after days of being out, you come home, shower and get ready for work. D14 knows you are living with POS, apparently you haven’t invited her to your new place and she’s asking me if i know your address. I think you just need to be honest with her, stop the lies and just maybe your R with her might still be salvageable.”
Anybody have any thoughts/comments/suggestions? Should i just not say anything?
Selfishness, lack of responsabilities, that’s wws world. There’s no need to confront. It’s her state of mind. Protect your D, be there for her, you are her role model. You can’t save WW if she doesn’t want to save herself. It’s her voyage.
Toe, the way I see it WW knows all this and has set out on her path. None of us can help our WASs or drive sense into their dimwit skulls. Every time I see WH coming over to pick up Ds I wonder how he lives with himself. Putting their own children in harms way is their own choice. We can only minimize the damage they are causing. Don’t confront her there is nothing to be gained
just wanted other people’s opinion, since i feel like the IC would be a better forum to voice our opinions. And yes, i would just be a quiet, happy, confident me during D14’s IC sessions. D14 told me the other day that she feels that WW going to D14’s IC is a waste because at the end of it, WW doesn’t apply what IC has told her, or doesn’t do anything at all. I feel that D14 is really building up the hatred towards WW that she’s reaching the point of no return.
you’re absolutely right neff! the selfishness with me, i can live with it, it’s the way it affects D14 that gets to me. I can go dark, detach, NC, but when she does things that bothers D14, that’s when i crumble. WW doesn’t have anymore sense of responsibility towards D14! just kills me.
