Still feeling good. Anxiety is still under control and I'm making decisions based off logic instead of emotion. Had a checkup with the doctor a few days ago. Gained 2 pounds, but lost a lot of inches off my waistline. I'm seeing myself bulk-up and I look and feel sexy. I'm still keeping up with the changes I made to myself and my lifestyle (making my bed, keeping my room clean, praying 5 times a day, shaving, tucking in my shirt, looking into people's eyes when I talk, and carry myself with confidence, etc.) and I'm very proud of myself. I have to remind myself that I have been making these changes for two months and that I will need to keep doing this to make the change permanent.
I have also been working on getting rid of the bad habit of taking the easy way out or shortcuts. If there is proper way I need to accomplish a task, I have been consciously reminding myself that I need to complete it. Biggest example is when I lift. I have just completed a 6 week "beginners" session in which there were exercises that I did not want to do. Normally, I would have cut my losses and either skip it, or not finish the set. I did not do that. I pushed myself into completing the set and exercise.
Small changes (positive) in my sitch with W. We are much friendlier to each other now. I don't think we have ever communicated like this in our history of being together. I may even been flirted with (she was sharing some gossip with me and could not stop playing with her hair. Eye contact was sparse, but she would look at me, then look down and smile, then look elsewhere, then me again.). She is giving me opportunities to just hang out, whether it's to clean D4's room, or have dinner, or just chat. It's been friendly.
I have to keep reminding myself to not get overly excited and start pursuit. I need to remind myself that I have not been DBing long enough for me to "make a move". I also need to remind myself constantly that she will need to show me more before I can go towards something deeper. Reading other's sitches grounds me and gives me a reminder to be patient and not rush anything.
I feel myself turning into a man that only a fool would leave. And I'm making damn sure that I am that kickass person.
I shoot a wedding tomorrow. Sunday is used for week prep. No notable events planned for the first week of next month. But I have a few ideas. I would like to incorporate some friend activities, since I have been doing things alone as of late.
