My WAS - looking help and thanks in advance PART 4

[ovrrnbw]

I ended up giving her the correct number. I've been able to calm down a bit and think. I am changing my understanding on detachment. It's like a breakup. You don't continue to call your exgf, b/c you're done and what they are doing doesn't matter. Who they date isn't worth knowing, where they go isn't worth worrying about. And just not doing those things helps create that distance and let you focus on yourself.

That said, W is still calling and texting a lot. I haven't answered a call. I eventually called her back Tuesday and yesterday, but I didn't respond to any of her texts where she would stomp her feet about me not answering or responding quick enough or her saying thank you or telling me that she got her counseling set up. Then she called around 6 PM last night, I didn't answer but she was at home.

When I got home she says she "wants to talk" and I told her I couldn't right now and proceeded to do some stuff around the house. Then she cooked food, and talked to me while I was cleaning the kitchen. It was all about her, she's sad, I hate her. I validated mostly and asked why she thinks I hate her. I don't act, talk, or have an attitude towards her and I told her that. She said then "you just don't like me". I said, "You are a cheater, liar, and backstabber. Why would I like you?" And the tears flowed. She talked a little more and I asked "Why are you home?" She takes offense, but I really want to know or her to think about why she isn't with OM tonight. Maybe I shouldn't say that anymore.

Of course she wants to get in the MBR and asks if I want to watch a show together. Then she, probably trying, falls asleep and I wake her up to get her out of the MBR.

I had the opportunity to snoop on her phone this morning but I didn't. What's the point?

She wanted to talk last night and tell me about fun, exciting stuff. And I almost took the bait. I just told her she is getting ahead of herself and I'm not going to share things like that with her.

What I need to do:
-don't let her in MBR
-don't ask her "Why she is home"? (maybe)
-don't snoop
-kick her out (maybe?)
-tell her I'm done with her (probably)
-stay calm and think when talking to her

Thanks for the support everyone.