kech, this is frustrating to read. You are getting so much good advice from so many posters. Maybe more than anyone one this board right now. I am not sure you are taking it and not sure you are sharing everything in your sitch. You asked the group how to respond, and before reading all the answers and giving yourself TIME to think (as in several hours or a day at least) you engaged in a conversation, and then come back and ask for advice again. I honestly don't get it. I know this is terribly hard, but then why ask for advice? You can vent here, but you do not have to ask for advice if you are going to do what you are going to do anyways. I am not trying to be rude, but I mean that.
As Steve said, this is a critical time. He was finally starting to get an inkling that you were slipping, and BAM, you took the bait immediately. I do not think you should have responded to ANY of this texts. He doesn't deserve it! He left his W and his new baby for an A. And this was all after having an A while you were pregnant! I could care less if he thinks you are ignoring him, or he thinks you are being cold, or he is worried you are slipping away, etc. HE IS WAYWARD AND HIS PROCESS IS HIS OWN RIGHT NOW. You gotta rise above his BS games right now and take care of your very fragile emotional self. And that means time and space. IGNORE THE CRUMBS. If he continues to text you or press you on and on, then it is reasonable to say "I need some time right now. Let's only communicate about her schedule and urgent matters. Thanks for understanding" And if you have an email with a schedule, he doesn't need to text you at all. You are too good for these games!
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Not time to decide anything, because he isnt saying "I want to work on our marriage"
WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. He can say that all he wants. He can say that today, he might actually, and it doesn't mean anything! Consistent ACTIONS over TIME. That is it. This includes remorse, vulnerability, transparency, honesty, and him putting YOUR needs first. He is just throwing crumbs, and by even responding to his text, you took the bait. I see this as a backslide. Sorry, but I do.
So it's time to dust yourself off and start over. We all have backslides and struggle. We just keep getting back on the horse. I could tell you a million of my own stories. Including similar ones to this. I know you can do better than this. I believe in you. And I actually disagree with your IC, I see a lot of hope in your sitch.
PATIENCE. TIME.
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
