Husband cheated, left, trying hard to DB 3

[burned]

Yup. When she pities me and I let her (by saying "Yes, thanks!"), it maintains the same dynamic. By not responding, she wonders.

Maybe just the way you phrased it, but when H says "Do you have something to say to me," it sounds vaguely threatening. Let him wonder what you have to say. Don't let him bully you into saying what he wants to hear. It's hard. Be strong.

I doubt you will get a response that you are dreaming of so why respond.

^^ this. He isn't going to say, "Oh, thanks for responding, let's renew our vows!"

You're only hurting yourself. Be strong! And there's a good side effect: you FEEL better afterwards. At least I did.