Hi Maika, thanks for taking the time to respond and share your rationale on sunk costs. You're right. I agree with what you're saying. I think I was approaching it from the angle of having sponsored my husband to come to the US, filled out all his and his family's immigration paperwork, assumed the role of financial provider for many years, etc.. It's hard to think about investing in another man in the future the way I did with my husband only to lose everything again, so in many ways it would be more practical to reconcile with my husband if possible vs. the other options like taking a chance with someone new or being alone. What you're saying is true though - there's currently no ROI (except the financial support and car). I already know my husband slept with other women when he left the first time and surely he's doing that again since he left last year. I could only be with him someday under certain circumstances and even then I'll never be as happy but as they say, the old marriage is dead so if we were to start over it'd be a whole other story. I don't really expect that to happen though, so these are all just mental exercises.
All, after all those posts I wrote, my husband called me the other morning crying and upset saying the job he got here was cancelled. Who knows why. Maybe they found out he was let go at his last job? In any case now he has to start searching all over again so he's back to square one. Apparently he was in the stage of reviewing his contract when they cancelled so he was sure he was moving here but apparently not. That's a relief for me.
Other update - some of you may remember me writing about the guy I met through work who lives in the UK. Well next week he and his colleagues are coming to my city to start our new project together with my company. It also turns out I have a friend from a different source who just got a job at his company (really bizarre!) and today she sent me a picture of her with him at their office. Just as I wrote to him to say I'm happy to see the picture he wrote to me saying he was happy to meet my friend and looks forward to meeting me. He also wrote on a messaging app asking "will I see you?" He's been talking about a dinner now since the first week we met and he started asking which night we can plan it and said we have to ensure we have this dinner (with our colleagues as well I assume!).
Given all the helpful input you've all shared I'd appreciate your help with this message this guy wrote to my friend and I: "As she is American I suggested that we might have a shared music interest (insert name of band). Turns out that was not the case! However I do assume that you are a fan? Shame they are not playing around (name of my city) next week!"
What does that mean? That if the band was playing we could go see them together? But he asked my friend first so he's just being friendly? I responded and said sure I like that band and I asked if he shares my interest in a certain sport. I said if so, I'd like to invite him to a game next week (and I mentioned his colleagues could come as well since they'll all be staying together). He didn't respond yet as it was already late in the UK.
I also told him earlier I'll pick him up at the airport when he arrives and take him to his hotel. He accepted.
Perhaps I'm being too assertive but I'm somewhat determined now to have a great time with this guy. Suddenly I like him again and don't care about his age and it seems he's not quite as young as I thought. If anyone could share their view as to whether he sounds just friendly or interested I'd appreciate it. I'd hate to be totally off-base. This is the first guy I've liked other than my husband in over 12 years so I feel nervous.
