JS, Steve could be completely right, but when I look at the sitch you're in and how miserable you are I think this is one of the rare cases where maybe it make sense for you to take action instead of waiting on W. Your W is never, ever going to lift a finger to do anything. I realize she has health problems but beyond that I just think she is also extremely lazy. She will never initiate D or moving out, but you can bet she will keep right on complaining about how miserable she is and how it's over and she's done... ad nauseum. You have a pending move still, right? I still say it's time to make a break. Whether that means D to you or not is for you to decide, but I would make the move and make it crystal clear to your W that she is not moving with you. Maybe she moves to the same town so that co-parenting is easier, but NOT with you.
At this point it's not about what will bring her back because she has to be AWAY before she can come BACK. And she is not "away", she is perpetually there. It is about what YOU need to do for your own health and well-being. And I am convinced that separation is what you need for that.
