I only have 2 minutes at the moment. Yes, I thought about my WH and OW all the time. Yes, it gave me incredible anxiety, depression, and kept me awake every night. I spun like crazy! I was a complete mess. When I finally started to let go a bit and step back, I also felt like he was slipping away more. And recall, I knew the worst: they had a full on relationship! She lived down the street, our kids were still school friends, and I knew her well. (just didn't know she was a manipulative & personality disordered)

Here is the thing I want you to really let sink in. Knowing what you know, and even knowing worst case scenario, does not mean that you need to act on it. When in doubt, do nothing! You will not make your situation better by reaching our or trying to rationalize with him, you will not bring him closer, and you will likely feel worse about yourself afterwards. As long as you have any expectations, you are at risk for more disappointment.

It hurts like h3ll. I know, my dear, I know this pain. I have had several hardships and deaths in my 40 years, and absolutely nothing comes close to that pain and devastation of when my H left me for OW. Nothing. I still have so many scars.

This is what you can do right now. Take it hour by hour and day by day. Take care of you. Learn to self soothe. Rely on the people you trust. Self care every day. Focus on baby! She needs you now. Allow yourself to find moments of joy. Allow the good moments to get longer and longer. Put him on the back shelf for several months. You CAN do that. Read Sandis rules daily. I promise, over time, things will slowly slowly get better. Let him go. You are too good for him. You and D deserve a real man, and he has lost himself for now, that man and M is actually dead.

Blu

“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela