Truly my call to him this morning was not anything other than making sure the time was ok. What I was doing before was not being assertive when it came to what time I need to do things and he would show up late and I would just act like it was no big deal, even though it was because I was missing appointments and rescheduling everything and not telling him. And I would do all of that just because I didnt want to reach out and confirm things because I didnt want him to feel pressure. So now I am trying to handle that differently. I have created this schedule with him, I am telling him I have to be places at certain times and I am being assertive about things I have to do and when I need him to be there.
Honestly, if I didnt have plans tonight with other people, I probably would have never texted him yesterday about it, and I would have let him show up whatever time he wanted tonight, and I would have missed out on something and not even mentioned it to him JUST because I dont want to reach out and come off as pursuing him. Its a hard balance because like I said yesterday, I do NOT want to reach out to him. And the schedule should help that. But what I have to do tonight is earlier than he would normally come. He is very non chalant about times. He is very non chalant about a lot of things. I dont want to come off as pursuing him. But yes. today WOAH. As soon as I spoke to him it was like a million things ran through my head. And it is because he just seems SO fine.
And I cannot imagine how in the h@LL he is SO fine. Steve, in your sitch did you ever have a certain amount of time go by where WW just seemed completely fine in her own life without you? He is not living at home, I only see him now on the evenings of Tuesday Thursday Friday and Sunday and I see him for about 5 minutes total. And the communication we were having in between has now stopped for the most part. How long do you just go on as if youre heart isnt breaking into 2 when you know theyre just building a foundation with someone else? Its like if I dont step in he is going to just completely fall in love with her and forget everything good about us. I just dont know how long I go on like this. It has been about a week since our communication has dwindled down like this and I just feel like im losing my mind. Somethings gotta give.
