I dont even know where hes living honestly. I am pretty sure he sleeps at OW every night but I dont know that. He wants me to think he is sleeping at his best friends house but I dont believe him. I dont tell him I dont believe him though. He thinks he has me fooled about OW, and that his denial has convinced me he isnt seeing anyone. He is insane. I just dont communicate any of this to him because while DBing, I dont believe I am supposed to bring up OW or tell him I know hes lying or any of that.
It feels crazy to me how one action from him affects me THIS much. I felt ok last night, not great by any means but when I went to sleep I felt ok even though he hadnt responded to the childcare text. Then this morning when he still didnt respond I was a bit surprised. And then to call him and him answer and give me an answer, it means he literally read the text at some point and just never even wrote me back. It just is hurtful. It makes me think he was doing something last night more important to him then to just quickly respond to me. He doesnt seem angry, it wasnt like he did it to get to me. It seems like he just really didnt care to respond. I really cant help but feel like what he has going with this OW is becoming really important to him. When he was seeing the OW before, the one that lived in the other city, I KNEW he was in the fog. He was addicted, i knew he felt strong feelings toward her but in an unreal way. Him and her would never have worked out in the real world and I think at some point he realized that. Now, this newer OW lives here, hangs out with his new group of friends, works at the bar he goes to, fits into his new life perfectly. And I think he feels so great being her protector. Like he can go to the bar and make sure no one tries anything and just be her man and it makes him feel REALLY great. And it feels like she has become more important to him than I am.
He told me once when we were talking one day and he was really opening up, that at one point the (1st) OW told him he needed to divorce me. And he was like "I told her she can kick rocks! No one is going to tell me to do that, I dont want us to do that." and I think he thought I would take this news as something good, and instead I think my jaw was on the floor, and I just looked at him and started to cry. And he seemed shocked. And I just said "I cant believe you ever got to the point with her where she felt she had a say in our marriage".
And now, I am starting to feel like this OW may be playing her cards differently. She may be giving him the freedom and he is choosing to be loyal to her in a way and really stop contact with me. Thats how it feels. He is no longer falling apart without me. He is no longer a mess, coming in crying when he sees us. He seems content, he seems ok. And I cant help but feel like its her just giving him the love he needs right now and hes feeling like hes in a really good place.
I of course hope I am wrong. Yes, I would rather him be falling apart without me.
