Good for you, he already feels like a loser with guilt. Unless he is a sociopath he cannot possibly think he in the right about all this, hence the guilt and crazy resentment towards you. Since WH has moved out I have absolutely stopped asking him for help with anything. I am learning to do things on my own, asking for help or paying contractors to do the job. I used to think that if I am too independently he may not feel guilty enough to come back. Again why would I want him that way? So irrespective of what he thinks I do what I feel is the right thing for me. If it pushes him farther so be it, we are already deep in discussion with a mediator so how much worse can it get right? Do what makes you happy, what is best for the kids
Blu is a DB guru to a lot of us here, follow every word she says and read her threads. I respect her not because her WH came back but because she walked through hell again with him with the piecing process and had a journey that shows how human and vulnerable all of us are.
It may seem harsh but what helps me is telling myself WH is dead. The man I married would never ever do this so this is someone else. If I think I may need him for something I ask myself what would I do if he was actually dead, morbid but I lead my life like he doesn’t exist anymore except for the children part
You are showing amazing strength already, you will be fine and find happiness, plow through this phase with all you have
