I want my family together, finances, keep my home, she's gorgeous, we are good together in the sack, I think I could forgive her, I had wanted to leave to get a break, I'm now a better me.
I can understand that she must have gone off me more than 2 years ago when one of my parents died and I was depressed so she must have made plans (secretly gave money to her parents to help buy a house that has stood empty) to leave but didn't. It then seemed to me she wasn't fully committed (I now know I was right as there was a house waiting for her to move into - she must have had that in the back of her mind all the time) and so she made me more depressed with her negativity, and so I became even less attractive. She must have felt guilty so tried to start arguments. W genuinely did want us to have a bigger house until about months before she left. W then became under a lot of stress and simply couldn't cope. W then wanted to leave saying anything to try to get the kids and hide money. I now get what has happened - how it has snowballed.
I'm sure W feels guilty and afraid of facing what she has done. She now knows she isn't up to running a home, being a mum, working, exams, being in a serious relationship etc. all at the same time. If we got it all out in the open with a councillor then I think it 'might' be possible to have a new relationship and make the lifestyle changes required. I know I could forgive her and I'm now better than ever, so the problem wouldn't be me. However, I can't see that happening as W is sooooo stubborn, has gone so far, and she now has her parents doing everything for her.
However, I might have to start D soon to protect myself.
Today, I'm having a first session with a new councillor.
