Sounds like sh#t started to get real and W freaked out. That seems to be a common theme. The fantasy is bursting a bit and reality is hitting and so the WAS backs down.
However, I don't read anything in what you wrote that indicates that she is anywhere near ready for R. She does not sound remorseful or willing to take responsibility for her actions, she sounds as lost in the fog as always. I would not have any expectations regarding R. Would you really want to be with her in the state she is in? I would think long and hard about that. She doesn't seem to be anywhere near ready to do the hard work of R, nor has she grown as a person. She is basically saying that she will settle for you (for now), and you deserve more than that.
When you talk about the laws regarding dismissing a D, are you implying that you wouldn't necessarily want to dismiss it? Are you considering going through with it?
Oh, it's clearly starting to sink in I think. But I agree, she's not ready. I know this is a total control move. And no, I don't want to be with her if she's not 100% on board and committed. But I know she's not ready for that yet.
As for the laws...I am implying that exactly.
Do I wish there was another way? Yes. Do I think that if we both had been getting the proper treatment for our mental health issues that we'd probably still be together? Yes, that's likely.
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So you want to stay married to someone who dismissed the divorce because she would “rather be married and miserable”
You are worth more than that, don’t you think?
And why are you spending time with her? She yells at you when do. Coffee, dinner so you can get belittled? I don’t get get why you would subject yourself to that
Nope. I want to stay married to someone who truly wants to be with me, because I am worth more than that.
I'm basically trying to do the lighthouse thing now. I don't think she's ready to move back in, and I'm not going to rush her to do that. In fact, that would be a bad idea.
As for spending time with her...most of the time I'm really just focused on S. She can yell and belittle me, but after the last two days, coming to terms with the seriousness of the situation and mentally preparing...her words just don't hurt quite as much. She still tries to say things to hurt me, but I've gotten far, far better at just brushing them off without even flinching.
So...as for dismissing the D...from what I understand in this state, only one person has to want D to get it...but to dismiss it, both parties have to agree. So we'll see what happens. Any shenanigans and all I have to do is get the copy of the final decree, request another court date, and just get it done. The good news about that is she doesn't realize that both parties have to ok the dismissal.
It was weird to see her wearing her ring again. She gave me mine back...I didn't put it on.
She wanted a chance to prove that she's a good mom...well, she's got it. BUT...my tolerance for bs is gone. She hasn't really realized that, but I think she's about to.
