I am glad you say I have more power than I realize. Sometimes I wonder if I do and I am just blind to it still like I was back then. If only I knew than what I know now. I KNOWWWWW had I been stronger and handled this better back then, he would have literally not known what to do. He lost himself after a few weeks and came home such a mess, but I was just so understanding all the way through this thing, he never really had to fully come back and put in work. He just came back and was present here, but not really present. Not working on us. Actually, during that time I think he just found reasons to want to bolt even more. Had I been DBing all that time, I would be in SUCH a different position now.
I fear I waited too long. That during this time he has lost respect for me and value for me and he has moved on to someone else and and found that maybe someone else is a better fit for him because for this past year he didnt feel happy with me. I know he sees changes in me, he has been open about that. But it doesnt seem to be enough for him to want to put the work in.
I feel like I am getting a slightly better grip on DBing now, due to all of the help on here. I would NEVER be able to do this without this board. The 2x4s, LITB, Steve, R2C, Blu, Pain, Lost, ED, Ovrrnbow, Neffer and anyone else, you guys have have been my saving grace. I feel like I am SLOWLY finding how to DB, and I just pray it isnt too late for my MR. But It does feel better than you know when you say I have more power than I realize. I need that. I need to know that I DO have the power to turn this around. If not for my MR, at least for ME, for my well being, to do this knowing my worth, head held high. Thats ALL I can do for me. The process is hard. Its hard to be patient when you feel like every minute, every hour, every day that passes, he is building something with someone else and getting further and further from me. BUt i do want to be the best me. A wife any man would be crazy to leave
