Firstly I must thank Michele for inventing this "Just Do It" concept because it is rescuing my marriage. I know a lot of you are sceptical but listen to this account of a Friday night adventure between a HD(ish) H and his (historically) ND W. It all starts in the bath when our H is getting all soapy and wondering why - unusually - nothing much is happening in the popup dept. Downstairs W is watching the Jonathan Ross chat show which is the most entertaining late night chat show ever in the UK, the main topic of most interviews being sex. H joins her and they retire to bed after the show. H tells W that he's not feeling much drive tonight which has a calming effect on W. A conversation ensues where W details the various transgressions H has made over the last week. There were the two emails containing links to relationship sites - "Don't send me any more emails" - "OK". There was the morning where H tried to cuddle W when she was asleep and got upset when rejected - "Don't cuddle me in the mornings" - "er... OK". Then there's constantly bringing up R issues during the middle of the week. "I thought we'd agreed that Friday night is for talking about our relationship" - "...and ML!". "Yes that too" says she. As she seemed to be laying down boundaries H thought he’d chip in with one of his own. “It would be nice if you could be a little more physical with me. I’m not asking for a bj or anything like that, just it would be nice if you would put your hand on my tummy once in a while” – “I don’t think I could do that”. (Not a “No” though so the seed of thought was sown). D16 then came into the room and a conversation struck up about her boyfriend. Lots of cheek and laughter till D16 went to bed. From out of nowhere H’s HD kicked in and he made a move on W with a lengthy and quite intimate massage that W did not object to. The light went out in D16’s room and H moved down for some close action and soon things were really going well. Perhaps H took her a little too far because when he released contact to manoeuvre for the next phase she said “No, don’t stop” – Now that is horny talk in any language and most unusual and wonderful. Naturally H obliged and sparks flew all over the place after a short time. W was then still very receptive to H and even put her hand on his arm, which doesn’t sound like much, but it’s the first touching contact H has had while ML that he can remember. The point of this is that there was no rejection from W whatsoever and that is most unusual. Normally, love making follows a lengthy negotiation or battle. It really is most wonderful and my love tank is completely full – I even spent the whole weekend working in the garden my motivation is so high. SD – looking forward to next Friday
SD - Good for you! You're an inspiration. My H is still "thinking about" the Just Do It experiment. Perhaps I attempt to cajole some action on his behalf.
Quote: W was then still very receptive to H and even put her hand on his arm, which doesn’t sound like much, but it’s the first touching contact H has had while ML that he can remember.
That's HUGE!
Sex without really making contact ... just ain't the same thing. A little touch makes all the difference in the world.
The trouble is honeypot, it's Tuesday now and the glow has worn off me. I want some more... At least I only have to wait another 3 days which is a lot better than 3 months like it used to be SD
SD, From one Londoner to another, I'm very happy for your progress and I loved the touch at the end about working in the garden all weekend, I can relate well to that! Please tell me, how did you get to the point of negotiating a "just do it" agreement? We're at the stage of talking about that but she's still very much in the belief that she won't do anything she doesn't feel like doing ang I'm still very confused whether she is driven by thoughts first and body second or vice versa. Normally she tells me she needs to be turned on mentally to react physically but today I tried some gentle intimate caressing and she didn't throw my hand off for a few minutes (a major breakthrough!), she just said she felt zero down there.
Quote: Please tell me, how did you get to the point of negotiating a "just do it" agreement?
I'm wondering the same thing. H has read that part of the book but is "Just Thinking About" just doing it. I'm at the point where I'd like to push the issue just a bit (as much as I HATE scheduled sex).
