Definitely don't get W's portrait under any circumstances. If you want a tattoo for yourself, go for it. Live your best life. But leave her far, far out of it.

Don't worry about your W's reaction to your trip - it isn't for her, it is for you and the kids/grandkids. It sounds like she already resents you so that horse is out of the barn. I wouldn't tell her at all, but that is your call. You are out living your life without her.

W 34 Me 42
Married 7 years together 8
0 kids 1 beloved dog
BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
I moved back in alone 8/05/2018
I file 3/06/2019
D official 5/7/2019