Feeling lost, scared and wanting to fix this.

[Turbine]

This is a personal improvement question more or less. Much is stressed about GAL activities. Try new activities, make new friends/hang out with old friends. Go to the gym etc.

So this is a three part thought...

First, for my trip to visit my oldest D and the three granddaughters. She is excited as am I. At my request we are keeping it as secret as possible from the kids. I'd like to surprise them. Of course the baby won't know or care either way so its more for the older two. I am going to bring some frozen custard from the local shop. Key Lime Pie and Maple Bacon (which is awesome on a waffle) as a treat to share and I'll leave there if we don't finish it.

Second, my daughter's BF works as a tattoo artist as a side job (primary is auto mechanic) and they are both excited about my visit since I could get a tattoo. I know... personal choice. I did 12 years in the Navy without getting one and at 55 years I am thinking about it now. W portrait came to mind but rejected for a few reasons. One, lots of time under the needle for a first tattoo. Second, God forbid, this falls apart that would be more than a little awkward to explain to any future R partners. Third, that would be misunderstood by W as being pushy or something.
So I am currently looking at a Star Trek delta. Simple and I like Star Trek. Star Wars too but too many choices there.

Third, at what point do I inform the W if at all up too actually leaving. When I had suggested it before it was rejected outright. Thinking to not tell her for DB reasons. However it isn't a short trip and we don't get to see them often. If she were to unexpectedly change her mind and go she would need the time to cover her home care job.
I don't want this to be something she resents me for. Although at this point any and everything can fit into that column. I don't want to be a jerk and be the first to meet our newest granddaughter either. Part of it being worried she will do something at then house while I am gone? Maybe. Trust is nonexistent or close to it. She has done a few things that have shown me she isn't to be trusted at this point.

That covers it. I welcome any insight since being too close to this and not wanting to hold a chance for this from her can be impairing my thought process.