Davide, thanks. I'll try to tell him something like that. I need to rehearse it a bit more but I do think honest and straightforward requests are best. You know I'm doing great in my career and other aspects of life now but sometimes it doesn't matter. At the end of each day I'm alone once again and I still miss my husband.
Jim, I'm sure you loved your wife and she must have had a lot of great attributes. One of the challenges here is we only get to hear one side of the story. I'm sure your wife had reasons to be unhappy before asking for a divorce just as my husband had his reasons before he left. I'm sure you, I, and everyone here on this forum has our faults that drove our spouses crazy but in most cases married couples work those things out. When someone decides to end their marriage they kind of deserve to be vilified and it's natural to support the one who's been hurt. My husband deserves to be seen as a serial cheater who walked out on his wife and young child which is a despicable thing to do but marriage is about more than just feelings of love when you have joint property and assets, kids, and years of history together. I don't know. I'm trying to think about everything just as it sounds like you've done with the comprehensive divorce process.
Sia, it's nice to see you're one step ahead and you're already sharing custody and you're surviving. I have no idea yet what my husband wants in terms of time with our daughter but dropping by spontaneously can't be an option. I don't think he's planning seriously to live here in the same building. He's never helped with our daughter and I doubt he's willing to give up his freedom to start helping now so I assume his time with her will just be fun visits. I need to think more carefully about what's best for her and what's fair to everyone.
Sia and Ovrrnbw, I don't know if my husband's question about living here and the commute were temp checks. I don't think so, but I do question sometimes whether I'm interpreting his actions correctly. He's done a lot of bad, bad things but in the past six months he's sent all the money I asked him to send, even more than if we'd be divorced on many months. He calls our daughter almost every day now and visits every two weeks. He's moving here to our area. He sent me the car that he knew I wanted, which is nearly $1,000 per month like Ovrrnbw's car. He talks about his employment benefits in terms of "us." He's tried to be friendly and he seems interested in what's happening with me. Is he in limbo himself? Is he looking for signs that I'd be open to reconciling? I think the chance is really slim and more likely he's in another relationship. If that relationship ends though I expect him to consider his options further. I believe he's quite comfortable with how things currently stand - being married and separated with both freedom and a family to fall back on. It's all much better than it was in January 2018 and yet I still have no clue what lies ahead. I'm living as if he's gone forever but having him move nearby right on the verge of our 10th anniversary is going to be another challenge.
