I mean she's slept next to me for over 3 weeks straight now. So that's a big 180 for her. But we don't talk a whole lot, or hug and kiss. She does text me throughout the day.
I didn't recon, but of the recon stories I know of the WAS was usually all-in when they finally made that commitment. Usually when they are half-in or even quarter-in like you are describing, they still see you as Plan B and may still be in an affair.
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I am worried about where she's at, who she's with, and I don't think she'll be coming home tonight. But I think I need to redefine that to her as what a healthy R looks like: - no excessive boozing - no staying out all night - we know who each other is with, where each other is. - no more negative attitudes - etc, etc, etc
Quite right, full 100% transparency and disclosure is very important in recon and should be an agreed-upon requirement.
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And I'm going to pull my hair out. I waited until the morning to look at the app, W is back at OM's apt. Now, what to do?
-tell her to pack up and move out -back to no contact -tell her this is wrong, more lies and cheating -sit tight, do nothing yet
Very sorry for this! But of those choices, I'd say tell her to pack up and move out. Tell her you know where she was (but don't disclose how you know, it doesn't matter and if you tell her she will just accuse you of snooping like you are the bad guy here). Tell her she's blown her last chance and you are done, you are not going to stay married to a lying cheater. Be ready for her to get angry, if she does then tell her there's nothing more to discuss and walk away. This may be one of the hardest things you've done but it will put you back in a position of power over your life.
EDIT TO ADD- somehow I completely missed page 5, great advice from Nicole and Joe!
