update... got a text message from WW last night about how she wants out of the M, because she doesn’t want to be with me and doesn’t want to deal with the bullying and immaturity. Had to reply to it. Told her, how not getting caught in bed, WW having an illicit A, her daughter seeing how she acts with POS, isn’t immature? Added, i forgave you and yet she still continued to hangout with POS. Long story short, ended my message with, D14 is being taken care of an immature bully, aren’t you worried about it! Maybe you need to step up.
First of all, no you didn't have to reply to it. Get that idea out of your head, that you need to reply to every crazy thing she sends you. Sometimes silence is the best reply of all. Second of all, if you replied, it should have been nothing but validation. "It sounds like you are frustrated because you feel I bully you and am being immature, I am sorry I make you feel that way." Note that you are not agreeing with what she said, you are simply acknowledging her FEELINGS which is what validation is. Why do you respond this way? BECAUSE IT IMMEDIATELY DEFUSES THE SITUATION. A fire cannot burn without fuel and oxygen. Take one away and you snuff out the fire. Your response simply threw more fuel onto a raging fire and left you both feeling angry and frustrated.
