Husband left for second time - 7

[Davide]

All, I'm exhausted from everything. At some point I need to check-in with my husband in some way. I hope I can figure it out. I just don't want him moving to this area but I can't stop him. I can't have him passing by whenever it's convenient for him and then disappearing whenever he has a new woman or his girlfriend is visiting. I need to create more boundaries now if he moves here, and to do that I'll have to communicate with him, but I don't know yet what I'll say.

Nicole, I can only imagine how exhausting it is with a child involved, and the length of your situation surely makes it that much more exasperating. You are doing a great job keeping it together. Don't beat yourself up for not fully detaching. Remember to practice self-compassion. We are all doing the best we can under difficult circumstances.

Obviously you can't control him or tell him where to live, but why can't you tell him exactly what you wrote above? That you would prefer him not to live in the area, and especially not in your building. If he is in the area you would want to set up a visitation schedule so that he is not just dropping by, no? What other boundaries would you want to set? It's really easy to stress out over conversations like these, and it is often far easier just to have the conversation and get it out. I have certainly found that was the case in my sitch.

You are incredibly strong and I feel confident in saying that a "lifetime of loneliness and uncertainty" is not in your future. With or without WH you have the power to create a rich and rewarding life. Now is the time to get a head-start on creating that life. Don't let WH or anything else get in the way of that life. You got this.