No other parents I know of let their kids have their own mobile phone at that age and it had been our established policy too.
So is this something you object to? If so, then have a discussion with W. Frankly, if it stays at home and is only being used to contact her (or you when its at her house), then it seems reasonable?
Originally Posted by DavidUK
However, W gave one a mobile phone to keep secret from me and to secretly use it to contact her. Kid was distraught at being put in that position by W.
....Really? This seems like a bit of a stretch. But in any case, I agree that it shouldnt be hidden.
Originally Posted by DavidUK
I showed them how to use it. They had no interest at all in calling their Mum or anyone else. They only used it for text messages. I had it in between times to charge it up for them and so they didn't use it during meal times, at school (where kids phones are banned), during homework or bedtime . They don't call W and she accuses me of being controlling. One said they missed W so I suggested they called her. I didn't speak to W then or the next day when she called the main house phone to speak to them in the morning before school. I just answered and gave the phone to the kids.
The part I bolded is what I think you need to consider. Why are you taking it from them? You say to 'charge it', but I have to imagine they could charge it in their own rooms. Then you say you are limiting when they can use it. Which I get. But why do you need to TAKE it? That puts you in charge of their usage of it. Why cant you use it to help them learn responsibility? Let them be in charge of following the rules of the house.
Originally Posted by DavidUK
I wondered whether giving-in over the kids having a mobile phone (W has got her own way over that) and encouraging the kids to contact their mum would be seen as W cake eating?
No. I dont think so. As long as you have an agreement about what is reasonable. If the kids were texting her 24/7 and interrupting your meal times and bedtimes every day, then sure, that seems like cake eating. But to have regular communication with their mom should be encouraged, I think. Why would you want to stifle those relationships?
