DB / Detach- Will we ever piece it together

[Did]

Having strong urges to ask wife to make plans or talk. But I haven’t. Noticed some others on the board are ready to be done at 5-6 months. I’m going on 15 months... and sometimes I feel so done with being in this middle ground.

She texted me last night and said her aunt ate edibles she was talking about it yesterday at party it was so funny. Like she was just trying to make conversation. She said I should have asked you to rub my neck when She was here with d4. I tried to validate. I know you’re afraid to say anything nice or be close... I understand and I’m not blaming or accusing. She thanked me for understanding. Talked about cuddling with dog etc.

I was nice but short and left the conversation on hope you feel better. Temp checks? Just ignore her? I hate this sht.

I really want to get to the point of dating and flirting and all that with wife.

But she has said she has to feel safe enough to let me be close. Can I even believe what she says? IC therapist always says believe her. . I was thinking next time we talk instead of her thinking of me as emotionally abusive in the past think that I needed to work on my own mental health.

I go away for a lacrosse tournament Thursday. Just be patient and gal with d4 until then. Don’t ask w for anything? Don’t call or FaceTime unless she’s reaches out... when she has d4 she FaceTimes 2x per day usually.

Even thinking about the neck rub thing... shaking my head. When she rubs my neck I’ll rub hers. I’m going to do a 180 and try to act like I don’t care about her.