Thanks so much. You’re right. I have let him come back so many times now, and I have no plans of doing that again. It would be so much easier to just pour my heart out to him and tell him to come home and allow him to come and go as he pleases, if he chose to come back once I opened the door to it. But I’m not. I can’t put myself through this and prolong this. I know I have to push through the hell. I have to get to the other side. If he misses me in the process and decides I’m worth fighting for, great. If not, then I’m still pushing through to get to wherever my life is going to take me. I am feeling the pain, and I know it will get harder and harder but with time I’ll get stronger. He spent all day here with daughter and we will officially start the new schedule now. So we will not be seeing him tomorrow.
Of course I’m afraid he will bring up divorce now that I’ve enforced a schedule. But I had to do the schedule. Even if it pushes him towards OW. I needed to do it for me, to have a few days a week where I don’t have to see him or think about his time or how he will act or anything.
I’m glad we agreed on everything concerning the baby. That’s most important.
