So i know what im about to talk about is small fries conpared to the feelings of jealousy and rejection every one of you here has encountered. But i am stull hurt and upset.
In my sitch, i never really knew about any OW. A year before BD he was going to gym and dressing nicer though. So really good chance of affair. But no one significant. He always swore he wasnt cheating. He also had ED. But maybe just with me. But he had that going back as well. What i do know for sure is that 5 years of credit card statements showed he was secretly drinking. About 220 to 350 a month from 3 different liquor stores. And he was lying to me about going to these liquor stores. I k ow he withdrew a lot from his IRA to pay off unremarkeable credit card bills he was paying bare minimum on. And i know h3 years of atm statements show he was withdrawing about 100 a day and an additional 700 to 800 a week from atms in bad neighborhoods.
His persona, how he looks, how he dresses, his job, his luxury car. They do not match all of those financial statements . But i never had to contend with the jealousy of another woman. It could be he was hiding that too. But i dont know.
Anyway, my son was telling me how they are going to pick up some little girl (who is young and never would be an appropriate play mate so i know ow she is the daughter of soneone he has been dating a while now)
And it bothered me so so so much!!!!
I dont know why. It just really bothers me. It should not. I read all of your sitches. Gingers and roukys and v's come to mind and think, "those OW are much worse off" but for some reason i still FEEL this sense of failure. I wonder what she looks like. My ex once told me when we dated "he only dates good looking woman" and this bothers me, because i know she would be good looking.
NG and i have been pretty good. Its a year now. The issues i had concern have not been issues.he told me he would never let something like that ruin a relationship. He buys me fine jewelry. He makes me a priority. My ex never did that. But my ex was the type that looked good on paper. The guy every female would pick on OLD. Career, height, looks. Comes across as kind and humble and shy and honest. He was such a cruel, cruel person leading up to amd during BD though.
