People recover from all sorts of situations. I understand why you would get choked up, but right now is not a good time to share those emotions with her. She sees you as a gay friend, and then you cry in front of her. If you were to be the alpha male jock dickhead instead, you'd stand a better chance of finding that spark again.
When she brings up that she's done you just validate. When she talks about divorce, you tell her she is free to do what she wants but you will not assist in D.
The "inevitable" is unknown to you, so "Act As If" you will be fine and the relationship will be fine. Or, if you'd rather be the victim, continue to play the victim.
What are you doing as far as "keeping busy"? Are you following Sandi's rules? Have you even read all of Cadet's links or any other threads? You need to get active on those, b/c you will see advice that may apply to your situation.
Right now, from what I can tell, you are just a scared, whipped little puppy dog. You're upset that you hardly ever talk in the same house. So what? I can tell from this end of the internet that she feels the pressure from you. Quit trying to force conversation, quit trying to force her to think about stuff she just told you she doesn't want to think about. When you pressure, she just wants to remove the pressure - which is you in this case. When you pressure, she doesn't get the chance to think about things fully.
I guess part of the “breaking down”, was because I was acting according to the readings/rules, was doing my own thing for a couple months and had never asked too many questions besides casually what she was up to. I’ve acted pretty much unfazed for awhile and I’ve taken care of myself. She actually thought I went on a date a month ago (out with coworkers). It was tough to hear that she remained unmoved by any of it and very matter of factly reiterated her desire for D, trying to talk out logistics and all the other topics.
That’s where I got a bit more emotional than I would like at times, also saying that part of me wonders if she will always be happy then fall out of love without really trying.
I’ll follow the readings and let her go through her process of hiring cleaners, landscapers, etc...I’m just not sure how this can possibly turn around.
